I'm Crying...

Malam berganti malam, hari berganti hari seakan tiada hentinya perasaan sedih dan senang terus berdatangan menunggu suatu saat nanti,

di mana kesedihan akan berakhir, kekasih sejati terpelihara di hati, kenangan berarti peninggalan dirinya seakan kenangan itu selalu menusuk di hati ini ….

Hidup Adalah Anugerah

Tak ada manusia yang terlahir sempurna. Jangan kau sesali segala yang telah terjadi. Kita pasti pernah dapatkan cobaan yang berat. Seakan hidup in tak ada artinya lagi. Syukuri apa yang ada, hidup adalah anugerah. Tetap jalani hidup ini, melakukan yang terbaik

Tak ada manusia yang terlahir sempurna. Jangan kau sesali segala yang telah terjadi. Tuhan pasti kan menunjukkan. Kebesaran dan kuasanya bagi hambanya yang sabar. Dan tak kenal putus asa

Love In My Life

Here i am looking into the future planning on how to get the picture of love so pure that makes me so sure, oh sweet love, like dew from above coming down to sooth my wounds and like the lark heralds daylight that i may carry you beyond all bounds to my hearts utmost delight.

This love, so blind and still so right, takes me through the darkest of nights, that i may awaken to find myself as glorious as an elf in this true picture of love that is a gift from above.

Masih adakah aku???

Aku perempuan yang hidup di palung-palung dalam
Ketika aku masih ingin bertambah karam

Aku terlalu risau
Menyaksikan pagi dan burung-burung berkicau
seperti hendak mengabarkan berita tak berkilau

Aku takut merasakan mentari menyengat
Aku takut saat aku tak tahu berbuat
Aku takut merasakan hangat airmata,
kesedihan berulang dan harapan hendak di dakap
padalah sebuah rasa sakit yang selalu di hadapan

Dan sebenarnya aku takut pada perjuangan
pada 'selamat berjaya' yang menyeramkan
Aku takut menyedari kepulanganku nanti
adalah ritual yang menyedihkan
Aku takut merasakan

Alangkah sakitnya doa-doaku yang berkarat

Aku.. Takut..

Becoming A Doctor

Kenangan essay saya ^___^


“ What motivate me to become a doctor ? “

Aiming to become a Specialist Doctor in Obsteteric and Gynocology (O&G) field is my only dearest-hold-ambition since I was in Standard 6. I started to wonder about what make one doctor’s feeling, life, and passion before self is ought to be towards another one’s life. This heartstring push me to explore and study well about every single life thing to my possible. And of cause, every science subject ( Biology, Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics ) being my top favourite subject in studies. It is such a satisfy feeling when I could know something about life things process, diseases and able to investigate them thus help people in need. I love to help and share everything I had learn to anyone else in sense to help them getting their best health and so life.

Motivation from my inside and surroundings are something which make even more inspire. My personal drive behind becoming a doctor comes from my own experience and determination. I had saw a poignant memoir happened through my aunty who have succumbed and died of breast-cancer four years ago. I could clearly recall that night when my family and I were once paid our visit for her at the hospital. She looked really bad in times. It such speechless when I saw her conditions. It seems like she objected to survive and struggle for herself anymore. The more surprise, I just couldn’t imagine how was an active and talkactive women and also teacher like her suddenly become a mute person. It is so clearly seen in my mind as if it happened only yesterday.

We may not know and understand lots about her feeling because we are not in the same boat floated with. But, as one of her close relative, we just able giving our helping hand, cheers her at her last, deliver some motivations and supports in hope she may feels comfort and still appreciate herself even at her last living. And of cause I was disturbed much by her death. This personal pain on seeing a loved one tormented by organ’s affliction drive me to not just become doctor but also a helper to patients. Pity them as I could not help much as I not yet becoming a doctor. If I am, I could be the one who is fortunately giving my best service and would strive to make much investigation and experiment regard a cure of cancer. I wish I could.

Other thing that motivates me to take a decision in favor of becoming a doctor is come from the need to emulate someone whom I share my great rapports and close inspirations. He is a doctor and so our first Astronout, Datuk Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor Al-Masrie. He has been inspired me much in sense od becoming a doctor afterall. Looked upon his great achievement in science and technology not just in medical services high up my spirit since I was in Form 5 ( 2007 ). Keep asking myself, what so special about this man unless he is just a doctor? I just couldn’t expected that he could do much on his willing. I doubt. He looked excellent as though he was also born for space travel. His full commitment and high confident level in beleiving on everything he wanted to do drive me to become a very passionate doctor-to-be and so human being. I had been given an opportunity to give a question to him during his first speech at my school before. His outspoken knowledges in answering all questiones given especially in science and technology is no doubt anymore. And so, he has been my right reference and inspiration to achieve anything which impossible all this long. And thus, I shall quote what he said before “ To go bodly where no Malaysian has gone before “. This truly inspiring me.
I know my desicion to become a doctor is unique and very honour. It is a decision that affects large society and gives me the opportunity to pay society back for support and the chance to apply all my skills to patients. My willing to become a doctor specialised in Obsteteric and Gynacology is drove from my own desire to tackle issues regarding a woman’s reproductive system (ovaries, uterus, vagina) and often in conditions regarding urinary tract issues. I want to be an experter in women’s health issues and also obstetricians. This means I may help women who are having reproductive issues and also oversee the care of pregnant women, and are present for the birth of children. They not only aid in labor and delivery, but can perform cesarean sections, induce labor, halt premature labor, or perform any other treatment required before, during or immediately after a woman has given birth. This is pretty much benefits to me and also to the others. And I believe the satisfaction after every treatment rendered, every emergency successfully taken care of and every look of gratitude on the faces of patients. These cannot be compensated with money. And yes, all is not hunky dory in this profession either.

There certainly will be times when I have to deal with failure in study. But, all this is part of the game and never hidden despite the personal drive behind becoming a doctor. Every failure may not break my spirit to become a doctor. I had once appeal to continue study in Bachelor of Medical and Bachelor of Surgery ( MBBS ) program at all IPTA which offering this course as I were just finishined my foundation in Life Science at Centre for Foundation Studies in Science, University of Malaya. Unfortunately my appeal is not accepted. I knew its hard to allowed me go as far as I wanted to be. I felt bit frustrated because what have been aiming about is not yet fullfiled until now. But this is not something I will regret as I believe I could get another second chances. Perhaps. This is another emotional power packed within myself which motivate me.

Moreover, I have to feel it before I even avail of the opportunity to apply my skills to anybody. And for that I wish I could continue what I have been dreaming all this long at **e***d .I understand being a doctor needs brave hearts and the drive too usually comes from some daring sources I faced. The drive behind the vocation many a times cannot be expressed in words, and it is best left that way. What better way to express the drive than to prove it!

Yours, nhmi